2.12.12 [quiet]

2.12.12

its so quiet in my apartment my heart beat sounds like a drum. sometimes i forget what the sound is and think my neighbor needs to turn down the bass. then i remember it's just me here. i'm new to this quiet thing. i've been avoiding silence for years. we all do it. we can't just sit still. we get busy. we text. we watch tv. we listen to music. we call a friend. we can't just be quiet.

i've been running from my thoughts for so long. when it's quiet i get lost in them, exploring them, dissecting them, replaying them. . . it's amazing the things we keep inside of our hearts, pushed to the back corners, swept under rugs, hidden in closets. we turn up the volume, speed up the activity and we can almost completely ignore them crying to be released.

so many memories to sort through, so many guilt's to face, to release, to forgive to forget. being alone is scary, but being quiet is deadly. in the last four days i have run at top speeds from the quiet. because when i let my heart be still, i can hear my Lord's voice so clear.

it's a voice of tender love with a tone of compassion. it's forgiveness and its freedom. it's truth and it's light. it is transforming and it's uplifting. at the name of Jesus, at His command chains are broken and bondage is ended, captives are freed and deliverance is arrived!

but we hide from it. we hide from the Light that will search our hearts and try us, that will know our ways and that will bring our darknesses into broad daylight. the enemy keeps our hearts troubled, overwhelmed by the cares of tomorrow,  keeps us doubting God's ability to provide, keeps us occupied with people and with routine. . . because He knows that in the stillness Jesus will meet us.

Be Still and Know that I am God.

Yes.. Shhhhhhhhh. Quiet my heart. Listen, just listen.

<3 Emma