Getting my first tattoo wasn't what I imagined at all. I'm proud to say I didn't cry, but I'm pretty positive I fractured Amanda's hand I held it so tight. . .
But the tattoo. . . It was definitely worth the pain.
The verse (Song of Solomon 6:3) means the world to me. When I was 12 and on my first trip to Israel my Mom bought me a ring with this verse on it in Hebrew. The verse says, "I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine". It is such a short phrase that at the surface doesn't seem to say a whole lot.
But for me, this is what it says. I am God's and through Jesus, He is mine. This is a relationship, it's deep, it's intimate, and it makes me who I am. This verse says everything about remaining in Him, and allowing Him to live through me.
I think the only real issue is I can't show my mother because she'd be absolutely devastated. . . I promised myself I'd show her by the time I'm 25 though. That sounds pretty reasonable right? But the thing is- I got it for me. You won't see it unless I show you and chances are I won't.
That's how I'm feeling about this week coming up. Lets see. I have 3 exams this week, 2 papers, and 1 presentation. I've spent days making note cards of terms and concepts for my biology exam on Tuesday, but still don't feel really prepared. I made note cards at work, I made the pharmacist quiz me on ecosystems and metabolism, but I was still freaking out. Then came the study time for West Virginia History. Almost a dozen people from my class were meeting together trying to prepare, and I freaked out. The amount of material is ridiculous. Every river and tributary and where they start and end and connect, every wind gap, every important settler or explorer in the region and on and on and on!
Then I realized not only do I have a paper due for my education class, my brother and I have a presentation to do on Behavior problems and Emotional Disorders. Sheesh. And I'm working almost 30 hours this week!
So, as some people know, I am pretty ADD and have a super hard time focusing in classes. Like, last week in WV history I constructed a house out of 3x5 cards instead of taking notes. Bad idea, but the house was pretty cute :)
So essentially I'm not ready for the week. Which is scary. But somehow I have peace.
Today in church I felt like God was really trying to get a message across to all of us. We're not alone. We're never alone. God is here with us through every step. Even in my darkest moments His light has been there to shine the way. When I've fallen He's picked me up. And as my one of my favorite verses says "From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I." (Psalm 61.2) The whole idea of God being an "ever-present help in time of trouble" overwhelms me. But my friend Shannon said it best today when she wrote her reflection of Pastor Byron's sermon.
"He died so I could live, he conquered the impossible so that I would never have to. Never will I feel alone, because before I was even around, God chose to be on my side. The creator, on my side? That’s pretty empowering. If I let Him stay on my side and help me through all the struggles, hardships, and good times, nothing can stop me from reaching beyond what is thought to be my potential. Life is good. God is good."
I am so blessed to never be alone, and so encouraged to keep running the race.
This is the video that made me CRY at the end of the sermon today.
Why the heck do people in this building think its a cool idea to leave their laundry in the washers and dryers for an hour after their clothes are washed??! That totally blows my mind every time I venture out to do laundry. So sorry about putting your stuff out of the dryer. I'll fold it if it's there in when mines done... maybe.
Today was Sunday, the morning after Saturday where I didn't exactly make it to sleep until 4AMish. Oooops. But moving on, I woke up just in time to head to church to take care of the children's church. I had 3 little ones today and they were precious of course. But I missed the service, which kinda blew me but it's cool.
So Shannon and Leah and I read a chapter together since none of us made it to New Hope today. . .
1 Peter Chapter 1 was what we read an I just wanted to share my favorite verse from today. . .
"You know that in the past you were living in a worthless way, a way passed down from the people who lived before you. But you were saved from that useless life. you were bought not with something that ruins like gold or silver, but with the precious blood of Christ, who was a pure and perfect lamb."
v. 18- 19
I loved the way my translation said that. . . living in a worthless way. I definitely know about that. I spend such a large portion of my time wasting time, focusing on the things that have no worth, investing into things that won't give me joy, things that won't last. I think we all do it though. . . So, before we are saved, before we are redeemed, we are doing things unto ourselves, and not for God. No matter how much good we do we aren't gonna ever quite measure up. Which is why we were bought by the precious blood of Christ. <3 I think that this verse reminds me of the VALUE I have. That God saw me as worth the sacrifice of His only son. I love that. Sometimes I have a hard time remembering what my worth is, and knowing that God, even though He knows my heart, my mistakes, failures and sins He still chose me. Pretty amazing, because I know the person I am, and I would definitely NOT give any amount of money, let alone a person I loved dearly for myself. Thankfully God's love is unconditional and He sees beyond all of that- today I'm just excited to be redeemed.
Thank you Father, thank you for allowing me the privilege of being in Your family.
