There is a difference between sleep and rest and beyond that
there is a difference also between sleep and slumber. I have been in this place
where I have fallen into the trap of sleep.
I’m not just talking about the excessive hours I spend
sleeping, pressing snooze on my alarms, resetting my alarms for 30 more
minutes, another hour… no I am talking about my life attitude.
When slumber comes over your life it is a dangerous thing.
That spirit of slothful complacency is so overpowering, you hardly realize you
have been overtaken. It’s like when you sleep so much you just stay in a
continuous state of exhaustion.
I always remember the story of when Jesus was praying in the
Garden of Gethsemane… It was the night of his arrest… The eve of the biggest
event in the history of mankind, Jesus was about to give up His life for ours…
Tell me what the disciples did? We all know… Jesus told them to “watch and
pray” and instead every time he returned to them, he had to shake them out of
their sleep! I remember some words that I was taught when I was about 14 and
sitting in that very same Garden, just outside the gates of Jerusalem. The
teacher said that in our humanity we often
use sleep as an escape when we are on the brink of a spiritual breakthrough.
We become overwhelmed and we just choose to sleep. For some reason I’ve carried
that thought with me for all of these years, because I have seen them to be
true. But I know that it’s true in many areas. We use sleep as an escape from
life at times…
Sleep has been hovering over my life lately, holding me down
and keeping me from my plans and dreams. I have felt this powerful lack of
motivation being held over me. The thought that, “I’ll do it later…” has
occurred to me so many times.
When is later?! A verse that comes to mind is Proverbs
24:33-34
A
little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest— and
poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.
This is so true, isn’t it?! I don’t have a problem with
expressing publicly my struggle, because I KNOW that I am not the only one.
Procrastination is the Enemy’s best tool against the Kingdom of God!
My girlfriend told me tonight, “Emma we have so much to do!
We need to do it!”
She is so right. We all have a call, a commission, a
purpose, and what are we doing to fulfill it? I know for me, I am sitting on
the edge, on the precipice of selling out to a call I don’t yet understand, and
instead of just pushing through… I sleep.
I just had a little flashback of a journal I used to write
in. The cover had this verse written across it –
Awake, you who
sleep
- Arise from the dead,
And Christ will give you light. See then that you
walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time.
(Ephesians
5:14-16)
I think this
reminds me that I have been here before, in the land of slumber.
He is calling
me, so specifically, to wake up and make up for lost time.
On the one-year
anniversary of my time here in Yuma I didn’t even have the energy to write. I
felt that in my heart I knew I had accomplished much here, but at the same time
I am in a place where I feel completely stagnant.
It started when
I made the choice, in faith, to quit my job. I knew that that was the right
thing to do, but in the process of believing for the new job, I became
overwhelmed and gave in to the sleep of unbelief.
But the kingdom
belongs to me! More flashbacks in my spirit of my childhood, adult bible study
sit ins for so many hours have saturated my heart and spirit in the word of
God.
“the
kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force the
kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force”
Matthew 11:12
That verse
puzzled me as a kid, but I understand it more than ever right now. Sure, a lot
of Christianity is counterintuitive. We are called to be meek, not to fight
back, not to return wrong for wrong… But
meekness is not weakness. He actually commands us to put on ARMOUR. We are
not required to put on a full suit of armor just to sit around and meditate on
the word. We are also called into action. The only enemy we are called to fight
against is the enemy of our souls, which is the devil himself. When the
Kingdom, God’s Kingdom, your life, is attacked, we are called to become violent and fight for our rights!
For our struggle is not
against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities,
against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil
in the heavenly realms.
Ephesians 6:12
I
am recognizing that I have the blood of Christ over my heart and life. I have
the mark of redemption on my head, and the call of the Father on me. His Spirit
is alive in me, and I am on the pathway to Heaven. Because of the Light I carry
I am a threat to the Kingdom of Darkness. I will not allow darkness to come
over my life another day. I will not allow the sleeplike apathy to control me
another day.
The enemy comes
to steal anything he can, and because he can’t have my soul, he has been
stealing time from me. We are told to rebuke him, and he has to flee!
It is so
incredible being on this side of the battle-- to be wearing the
impenetrable armor of the Warrior of Heaven, to be promised victory
on every count, to know that in fact, the battle is already won!
So it’s time to
get up. Off the couch. Out of bed. Turn off the tv. Put down the phone. The
violent… take it by force….
<3 Emma
