let it go. . .

For every magnificent high there seemed to be just as many crushing lows... That delicate balance of victory and defeat shifted and things just began to stop. You knew it just as well as me, the moment when things began to slip away. To give and give, and never be enough. To take and take, and never be satisfied… So much taking and giving, and so little loving… but wasn’t it all in the name of love? But love can conquer all, isn’t that what we’re told? Love can endure all things, but maybe some things weren’t built to endure love… But you have begun to recognize that this love has robbed you of your life… that you are cold and alone, hungry and afraid, tired and defeated… As you look into their eyes on the other side of the bed you understand that the only thing you hold in common is that… you are both reaching for extra blankets, in the middle of summer. When did it happen? Trace it back across the timelines of your mind- maybe you can discover when the heat began to cool… Sometimes the truest measure of love is not about how much you can give, but about what you are willing to give up. Sometimes leaving, rather than staying is the answer that no one wants to give. Sometimes we get it all wrong in love, and maybe someday we’ll get to do it right. 

6.11.12 [ back to the cross ]

Sometimes you just have to go back to the start, back to the beginning of things. . .

Last week was just a really tough week for me. Without going into detail, I will say this- everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. Beyond losing my job and breaking my lease, on a very personal level my failures, my flaws, my secrets, my lies... they all came to light. I was faced with something very ugly, and that ugliness overwhelmed me, embarrassed me and sent me scrambling for answers. 

I had the opportunity to go to an "Encounter" this weekend. I went because one of my girlfriends asked me to. . . And literally within the first 15 minutes I was angry I was there. All of the ladies in my group had been saved less than two months. What was I doing here?! I've known Jesus since I was 4 years old! I immediately tensed up, closed up and just felt anger all over again. 

I don't need this! I already understand salvation, I need actual, real help!

This weekend I went back to the cross of Jesus. Like it was the first time. Like I'd never understood it before. I left all of my knowledge, all of my religion, all of my pride at the feet of Jesus and I experienced the Cross in a brand new way. 

I realized that I rarely think of the cross anymore. 

But the Cross of Christ is the center of everything I am, everything I believe. 

Without the cross, there would have been no forgiveness. Without the cross, 

we wouldn't understand love, because the cross is the ultimate definition of love. 

In my life I have accepted what Jesus did on the cross as the first step to living a Christian life. You go to the cross, you accept Him, you believe, your sins are washed, and you begin your journey following after Him. 

I realize that I leave the cross in the distance. I push forward and it's silhouette get's smaller and smaller on the horizon. 

This is where I've been wrong! This is why nothing has been working!

In order to truly walk with Christ we have to keep the cross of Christ in our sights. 

We don't do this to be reminded of our already forgiven sins, to remember how "sinful our past was", to keep us humble, to feel sorry. . . 

We need the Cross because we need to Blood of Jesus. We need to remember that EVERYTHING we need in our lives He paid for on the cross. Everything we need He took care of as He was beaten, as He was tortured. 

No, we don't need to feel sorry that Jesus went through these things- we need to feel grateful. He did it for us out of LOVE. It was His choice. Don't look at the cross and feel guilty- feel empowered! 

His Love for ME was so great that He endured the cross so that my sins might be forgiven. He endured the cross to silence the accusations of my enemy. We don't just accept what He did and keep moving. We depend on it! We know that it is power for our lives! 

Humanity was on a miserable path until the cross came, and changed the world. God is a God of Holiness, sin can't come anywhere near His presence. For years mankind offered sacrifices and followed rituals in order to be forgiven for their sins... But every sin required another sacrifice, and we kept on sinning! God's nature is so against sin that previous to Jesus there were laws that allowed sinners to be stoned for their transgressions! God reached out His hand from heaven on occasions and took the life of people who were in rebellion. Sin was no small matter. As time went by the gap between creation and Creator grew wider and wider. God loved the world so deeply, but the world was entrapped in sin. 

He had only one choice left, and that was to send Jesus, once and for all. 

God knew that only Jesus could break the curse of sin that was holding the world captive. The curse of sin is death and destruction. It is working and working and never receiving the fruit of your labor. The curse had enslaved the world and left everyone without hope. 

Jesus Christ came and changed things. Because He was blameless, He was able to take on all the sins of the world. When we go to the cross He transfers all of His goodness on us, and we transfer all of our sins to Him. It is this exchange that saves us. 

He conquered death and returned to the right hand of the Father. God still cannot look at sin, but now Jesus intervenes and intercedes for us. We go to Jesus and he pleads our case before the Father. He silences our accuser- He has cancelled our sin! 

The blood of Jesus allows us to stand boldly, confidently and securely in the presence of God!! But there is still more! 

When the Israelites were being held captive in Egypt God appointed Moses to go in and deliver them. There were a series of plagues sent upon the Egyptian and the final one was when God told Moses that He was going to send the angel of death over the land, and every first born son would die... God instructed that each of the Hebrew families were to kill a sheep as a sacrifice, and then take the blood and apply it over the door of their home. When the angel saw the blood over the home, it had to pass on by- there had already been a death here... 

This is a picture, hundreds of years before Jesus came, that shows us how His sacrifice works for us. When the Enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy... to take that which is ours, to tell us that we are nothing, that our new life is a lie, that we have no right to claim the inheritance of Christ... We, through the power of Jesus' sacrifice, have the ability to remember what Jesus did and declare that through Jesus sacrifice and His blood that the curse of sin is broken, that we are not held captive, that everything He says about us is true and that we won't believe another minute the lies of the enemy! 

This is why. . . This is why we have to stay close to the cross. Because the cross bridges the gap between us and the Father. Because the cross represents the Love of Christ for us. Because the Cross represents a broken curse and a powerless adversary. The Cross is power to live this life in God's perfect fullness!! 

<3 

letter to the world

Dear Everyone,

Everyone really feels the same way. Everyone is searching for a familiar face, a place to call home, and a group to belong.  We all are desperate for a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and arms to hold us. You’re not the only one who wants to feel significant, like the world can’t do without the light emanating from your life. Yes, you are ten feet tall, and you can do anything you want! We all want to be the center of someone’s world, to know that we are gravity to another human being. . . Yes, it is all about meaning. We want to feel like someone would pay up on a billion dollar ransom for us, that someone would travel the world over in search of us, that someone would give up their life in our place. It’s true. We all need to believe that we are not small… that we are not just a tiny speck of a person in a population to vast to count. None of us want to feel like a number or a stereotype. We want to feel like our value is immeasurable and unparalleled. We all want to be fought for, to be pursued…. We all want to matter. In our human minds truly the most miserable place we can find ourselves is alone. That feeling of isolation is the coldest feeling a soul can experience. The feeling that if you were to fade out and disappear that no one would know the difference, that none of your words and thoughts would be missed… that the glass of someone else’s life wouldn’t feel less full if you were

 gone. . .  that feeling is unbearable. You know what I mean, don’t you?

You can’t deny these things… Yet you participate in making others around you feel alone. You don’t look past your own search for significance to realize that you have isolated another needy soul. In your own pursuit of purpose you have forgotten that to be significant you have to mean something to others. And to mean something to others you have to define yourself to them. What is your definition?

Just don't forget to remember how things really  are, and what really matters. If we can't be good to the people God has placed in our path, than who will be? 

Love, 

Everyone