Showing posts with label embarrassed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label embarrassed. Show all posts

Monday, June 11, 2012

6.11.12 [ back to the cross ]


Sometimes you just have to go back to the start, back to the beginning of things. . .

Last week was just a really tough week for me. Without going into detail, I will say this- everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. Beyond losing my job and breaking my lease, on a very personal level my failures, my flaws, my secrets, my lies... they all came to light. I was faced with something very ugly, and that ugliness overwhelmed me, embarrassed me and sent me scrambling for answers. 

I had the opportunity to go to an "Encounter" this weekend. I went because one of my girlfriends asked me to. . . And literally within the first 15 minutes I was angry I was there. All of the ladies in my group had been saved less than two months. What was I doing here?! I've known Jesus since I was 4 years old! I immediately tensed up, closed up and just felt anger all over again. 

I don't need this! I already understand salvation, I need actual, real help!

This weekend I went back to the cross of Jesus. Like it was the first time. Like I'd never understood it before. I left all of my knowledge, all of my religion, all of my pride at the feet of Jesus and I experienced the Cross in a brand new way. 
I realized that I rarely think of the cross anymore. 

But the Cross of Christ is the center of everything I am, everything I believe. 
Without the cross, there would have been no forgiveness. Without the cross, 
we wouldn't understand love, because the cross is the ultimate definition of love. 

In my life I have accepted what Jesus did on the cross as the first step to living a Christian life. You go to the cross, you accept Him, you believe, your sins are washed, and you begin your journey following after Him. 

I realize that I leave the cross in the distance. I push forward and it's silhouette get's smaller and smaller on the horizon. 
This is where I've been wrong! This is why nothing has been working!

In order to truly walk with Christ we have to keep the cross of Christ in our sights. 

We don't do this to be reminded of our already forgiven sins, to remember how "sinful our past was", to keep us humble, to feel sorry. . . 

We need the Cross because we need to Blood of Jesus. We need to remember that EVERYTHING we need in our lives He paid for on the cross. Everything we need He took care of as He was beaten, as He was tortured. 
No, we don't need to feel sorry that Jesus went through these things- we need to feel grateful. He did it for us out of LOVE. It was His choice. Don't look at the cross and feel guilty- feel empowered! 

His Love for ME was so great that He endured the cross so that my sins might be forgiven. He endured the cross to silence the accusations of my enemy. We don't just accept what He did and keep moving. We depend on it! We know that it is power for our lives! 

Humanity was on a miserable path until the cross came, and changed the world. God is a God of Holiness, sin can't come anywhere near His presence. For years mankind offered sacrifices and followed rituals in order to be forgiven for their sins... But every sin required another sacrifice, and we kept on sinning! God's nature is so against sin that previous to Jesus there were laws that allowed sinners to be stoned for their transgressions! God reached out His hand from heaven on occasions and took the life of people who were in rebellion. Sin was no small matter. As time went by the gap between creation and Creator grew wider and wider. God loved the world so deeply, but the world was entrapped in sin. 
He had only one choice left, and that was to send Jesus, once and for all. 

God knew that only Jesus could break the curse of sin that was holding the world captive. The curse of sin is death and destruction. It is working and working and never receiving the fruit of your labor. The curse had enslaved the world and left everyone without hope. 

Jesus Christ came and changed things. Because He was blameless, He was able to take on all the sins of the world. When we go to the cross He transfers all of His goodness on us, and we transfer all of our sins to Him. It is this exchange that saves us. 
He conquered death and returned to the right hand of the Father. God still cannot look at sin, but now Jesus intervenes and intercedes for us. We go to Jesus and he pleads our case before the Father. He silences our accuser- He has cancelled our sin! 

The blood of Jesus allows us to stand boldly, confidently and securely in the presence of God!! But there is still more! 

When the Israelites were being held captive in Egypt God appointed Moses to go in and deliver them. There were a series of plagues sent upon the Egyptian and the final one was when God told Moses that He was going to send the angel of death over the land, and every first born son would die... God instructed that each of the Hebrew families were to kill a sheep as a sacrifice, and then take the blood and apply it over the door of their home. When the angel saw the blood over the home, it had to pass on by- there had already been a death here... 

This is a picture, hundreds of years before Jesus came, that shows us how His sacrifice works for us. When the Enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy... to take that which is ours, to tell us that we are nothing, that our new life is a lie, that we have no right to claim the inheritance of Christ... We, through the power of Jesus' sacrifice, have the ability to remember what Jesus did and declare that through Jesus sacrifice and His blood that the curse of sin is broken, that we are not held captive, that everything He says about us is true and that we won't believe another minute the lies of the enemy! 

This is why. . . This is why we have to stay close to the cross. Because the cross bridges the gap between us and the Father. Because the cross represents the Love of Christ for us. Because the Cross represents a broken curse and a powerless adversary. The Cross is power to live this life in God's perfect fullness!! 

<3 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

(4.17.12) Jesus, Washer of my feet?


I had the great privilege of attending a bible study these evening in the home of someone I consider to be a mentor in my life. Lynne is a beautiful woman who lives her life in complete faith, who truly loves her Lord... I am blessed beyond to have her influence in my life.

The study sheet today was entitled "Dirty Jobs, Clean Hands, Pure Hearts"
and the text was John 13:1-17

Rather than copy the entire text, I will paraphrase the passage. 

It's the last supper. Jesus has just barely 24 hours left to spend with His disciples. It is incredible to me that this in His last hours he chose to comfort, rather than give into fear and try to find comfort in them. They are about to partake in their last meal, and Jesus sees that everyone is coming to the table with dirty feet. What does He do? Well of course we know that He simply finds a towel and water and gets on His knees before the disciples to wash their feet. So he is washing feet, no big deal, and then He gets to Peter. 
Peter is emphatic... "You will NEVER wash my feet" 
Jesus tells him, "Unless I wash your feet, you will never have a part of Me"
Peter, being the enthusiastic man that we know him to be says, 
"Wash my whole body then!" 
Jesus reminds him, "the rest of your body is already clean!! only your feet are dirty!" 
(Jesus also mentions in here that their bodies were clean, although not everyone was clean that was present--- total Judas reference because He knew that He had already been betrayed) 
And then of course He explains the significance of what had happened for the benefit of the "slower disciples" :) 

“Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. 13 “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. 15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16 Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

I love it. 
It's like I had forgotten about this incredible passage and message until tonight. There are so many things I took from it that I am just going to list them.

1) The Lord and Savior washed the disciples feet. The Creator of the universe got down on His knees before the absolute "least of these" How amazing! How humiliating for Him, but He did it so willingly because of His great love!

2) Peter felt intense shame at the thought of his filthy feet being exposed to Jesus. I identified with this so much! Of course Jesus knew how dirty his feet were! Everyone's feet were dirty! But because Peter UNDERSTOOD the Holiness of Jesus He was ashamed to just put his nasty feet out in His presence. 

3) When Peter understood that the washing of the feet was necessary he told Jesus, "wash my whole body then!" Tonight I understood the significance of the foot washing like I never have before... Jesus told him no, that it was unnecessary to rewash an already clean body. . . That only the feet need to be taken care of. 
I grew up under the impression that salvation was conditional, that we had to re-secure our salvation when we sinned. How liberating to really know that we don't have to go through multiple washings once He has cleansed our soul.... Instead we just have to allow Him to cleanse the areas that we dirty along our journey. 
We are all going to get our feet dirty, and He knows that! He just needs us to be willing to have our feet washed. How beautiful! 

4) Jesus washed Judas' feet. I just think this is a testimony to the great Love of Christ. He was able to without malice wash the feet of the man who had walked with Him, and then turned on Him. It reminds me that He loves every soul equally and seeks to save and redeem ALL that are lost. He still holds love in His heart even for those souls that never chose eternal life. 

5) If Jesus could wash the feet of His disciples, how much more can we do to serve and love all those that are in our lives. It reminds me that there is truly no task that I am "above" and that there is no one that I am allowed to over look. 

6) We say that we wouldn't let the Lord wash our feet! Oh no! I couldn't let Jesus do that! But the truth is, we are always in desperate need of a foot washing! I know for me personally at times it is humiliating to have to come to Him asking Him to clean me up again. I have to remove my shoes and show Him where my feet have been. I am so glad that He has forgiveness for us... over and over and over... He is good 


Will I let Him wash my feet?
Yes. 
Even if I feel like I have the dirtiest, most calloused, driest feet in the world... I have to say yes.

I have to allow Him access to the parts of me that are dirty, that are damaged, that need repair. I have to let go of my pride and admit I can't clean myself up, and I have to let Him get in my life and do His work. Even when I'm ashamed of myself, I have to say yes. 

<3